If you subscribe to us, you'll get ticket offers, free song downloads, exclusive content, undying love, and Jonny & Paddy's monthly thought essay. It's a good thing.
Here is an extract from our latest one so you get an idea of what these essays entail:
"Last night we played at The Met Studio in Stafford to twelve people, and it was genuinely one of our favourite gigs we've ever played. Sixteen people had bought tickets, but four of those people must have got lost on the way.
Now, a 'quiet' show like this does happen from time to time on a big tour. And there's plenty of possible reasons you can list: we've never played that venue, or indeed Stafford, before. It was a Tuesday night. Also, and very importantly: we are not famous. Clearly. We don't get to perform our stuff regularly on TV. We don't have billboards advertising the shows out on the streets, or a major synergising tie-in marketing campaign with Dr Pepper or Halfords.
And yet, these 'quiet' nights are still a bit of an anomaly. We've sold over 1500 tickets so far and we're barely a third of the way through the tour. That means the (literally) thousands of people who come and see us on tour are an extraordinary bunch. They are the sort of people who see an act they like at a comedy gig or a festival show, and then make an effort to look them up and find out when they're coming to play near them. Or maybe they just love their local arts centre or comedy club, and go and see as many things there as they can afford. They're the sort of people who sign up to the newsletter of a small-scale musical-satirical-comedy act, opens those emails and reads as far as this point. Thanks, by the way. You rock.
Last night at Stafford Met was so much fun partly because it's a great venue, run by lovely people. No one made us feel horrible for the fact that it hadn't sold as we all hoped. The opposite in fact: everyone involved wanted to make it work. And in the room during the show the sixteen of us (twelve audience members, plus volunteer usher Linda, Ted the technician, myself and Pads) really really went for it. We all committed totally. No one said out loud that we should do that. We just made a collective decision to go for it and enjoy ourselves. And we really all did. At the end of the show we sold seven CDs. That's seven out of twelve. If we did that proportion of merch at the Liverpool Everyman we could retire. Well, not retire. But definitely buy a load of cool new hats.
We obviously don't want to repeat this all the time. It's not good for our bank accounts. I have a tiny baby to feed and clothe. And Paddy has a number of financially unviable podcasts to support (listen and subscribe here btw, it's fantastic). But last night was very soul-nourishing, and bloody good fun.
You can still see us on the road in 20 more towns and cities across the UK between now and December 18th. We don't know who will be there, but we can promise you, whether it's totally sold out or if it's just us and you, we will give it our all."
Go on. Give us a go.